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Α>ΐ'ΐΑΓθκ +λ#ΘΚ/>ΛΓ?Κ_Κ?Ν>ΐΑΜΔΗΚ?Ν>ΐΑΜΔΗΡΘΚ/>ΛΓ?Κ_'ΐΑΓ&λδ&- κΰγ&λδ&-ΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&-
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&-->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&-
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&/ΔΝΘΑ&θΰ&ΔΑΐΡ%%/&θΰ&ΔΡΚΔΝ_Γ%ΑΜ&θΰ&ΕΚ/ΞΑ&θΰ&ΘΡ%ΐΑ&θΰ&ΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ&ΐ?Θ%ΑΛΛΡ&θΰ&-ΚΡ>Ε&θΰ&Λψ/ΔΑ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ
&θΰ&/ΔΡΚΔΝ_Γ%ΑΜ&θΰ&/ΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ&/ΕΚ/ΞΑ&θΰ&//ΔΝΘΑ&θΰ&/ΘΡ%ΐΑ&θΰ&/ΚΡ>Ε&θΰ&ΔΔΑΐΡ%%/&θΰ&->ΘΡ%ΐΑ&θΰ&ΔΑ>Θ&θΰ&ψΑΚΡ?ΐ&θΰ&%ΑΛΛ&θΰ&ψ/ΚΑ>%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&ψ%ΝΛ&θΰ&Β/Κ&θΰ&
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ΒΚ/Δ,ΑΘΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&Δ?__/&θΰ&ψΑΚΔΑ>Θ&θΰ&Ν>ΐΑΚΛΔ?ΚΑ&θΰ&ΕΚΑ/ΘΑΚ&θΰ&ΙΝΑΛΘΡ?>&θΰ&?Λ%/ΛΗ&θΰ&-α/ΔΝΘΑ&θΰ&αΔΡΚΔΝ_Γ%ΑΜ&θΰ&αΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ&αΕΚ/ΞΑ&θΰ&ρ/ΔΝΘΑ&θΰ&ρΔΡΚΔΝ_Γ%ΑΜ&θ
ΰ&ρΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ&ρΕΚ/ΞΑ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&Δ?%?>&θΰ&->Ν_ΒΑΚΛΡΕ>&θΰ&/Θ&θΰ&ΙΝ?ΘΑΛΡ>Ε%Α&θΰ&ΑΙΝ/%&θΰ&ΙΝ?ΘΑΐΒ%&θΰ&|Λ%/ΛΗ&θΰ&/&θΰ&-Β&θΰ&-Δ&θΰ&-ΐ&θΰ&--Α&θ
ΰ&-Γ&θΰ&-Ε&θΰ&-Η&θΰ&-Ρ&θΰ&-ΕΝΡ%%Α_?Θ%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&-ΕΝΡ%%Α_?ΘΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&ψΑΚΘΗ?ΝΛ/>ΐ&θΰ&Α>ΐ/ΛΗ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&ΐΑΕΚΑΑ&θΰ&¦&θΰ&,&θΰ&%&θΰ&_&θΰ&
>&θΰ&?&θΰ&ψ&θΰ&Ι&θΰ&-Κ&θΰ&Α_ΐ/ΛΗ&θΰ&|α&θΰ&/Α&θΰ&ίΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ& α&θΰ&ΒΝ%%ΑΘ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&Λ&θΰ&-Θ&θΰ&Ν&θΰ&Ξ&θΰ&
Ο&θΰ&Μ&θΰ&`&θΰ&:&θΰ&ΑΜΔ%/_ΐ?Ο>&θΰ&ΙΝΑΛΘΡ?>ΐ?Ο>&θΰ&?Α&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&ΐ/ΕΕΑΚΐΒ%&θΰ&ΙΝ?ΘΑΐΒ%Β/ΛΑ&θΰ&ΒΚ/Δ,ΑΘ%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&ΛΘΑΚ%Ρ>Ε&θΰ&`Α>&θΰ&ΓΡ&θΰ&
Γ%&θΰ&ΛΑΔΘΡ?>&θΰ&ψ/Κ/ΕΚ/ψΗ&θΰ&-?>ΑΙΝ/ΚΘΑΚ&θΰ&?>ΑΗ/%Γ&θΰ&ΘΗΚΑΑΙΝ/ΚΘΑΚΛ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&ΙΝ?ΘΑ%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&ΙΝ?ΘΑΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&ΙΝ?ΘΑΐΒ%%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&ΙΝ?ΘΑΐΒ%ΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&ΐ/ΕΕΑΚ&θΰ&
ΒΚ/ΔΑ%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&- &θΰ&β&θΰ&δ&θΰ&ΰ&θΰ&α&θΰ&γ&θΰ&ε&θΰ&η&θΰ&ρ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&-?ΔΡΚΔΝ_Γ%ΑΜ&θΰ&?ΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ&?ΕΚ/ΞΑ&θΰ&?/ΔΝΘΑ&θΰ&?ΘΡ%ΐΑ&θΰ&
ΒΚ/ΔΑΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&’&θΰ&.&θΰ&<&θΰ&(&θΰ&-+&θΰ&|&θΰ&&&θΰ&ι&θΰ&κ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&ΝΔΡΚΔΝ_Γ%ΑΜ&θΰ&ΝΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ&ΝΕΚ/ΞΑ&θΰ&Ν/ΔΝΘΑ&θΰ&-`ΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ&
Β/Δ,Λ%/ΛΗ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&λ&θΰ&θ&θΰ&ν&θΰ&ξ&θΰ&-ο&θΰ&-μ&θΰ&-ί&θΰ&--!&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&-|ΔΡΚΔΝ_Γ%ΑΜ&θΰ&-|ΐΡΑΚΑΛΡΛ&θΰ&-|ΕΚ/ΞΑ&θΰ&-|/ΔΝΘΑ&θΰ&-|ΘΡ%ΐΑ
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<|ε| κΰγ&λδ&-<|ε|δ&&&<|ε|ΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ
&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
κ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&-->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ
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>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&-
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&-->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&
>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θ&&ρβ(<?Ε?αγ<|ε|
α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγελ(ξγ-λγ45510:ολ(ξγλγThe Story of Aiολ(ξγ-λγby Aka Akasakaολεκελ(ξ-κ(γλγ
0413-0455-10ολεκελ-(ξγλγγλγ--IBMολγλγεκκλλ&
&/ΕΑΡΡ
&/ΕΑγ?>ΘΛθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>θΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔβ??,(/ΛΘΑΚε?ΘΗΡΔρΘ/%ΡΔθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
&/ΕΑβ?Ν>ΐΡ>Εβ?Μ-
λξ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>
αΰγδ- κΰγ&λδ&-αΰγδ-δ&&&αΰγδ-&&θΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>αγ-αΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγ-γγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔ
θΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>Θβ??,(/ΛΘΑΚε?ΘΗΡΔρΘ/%ΡΔ
β??,(/ΛΘΑΚε?ΘΗΡΔρΘ/%ΡΔαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγγαγγγμγΰγγαγγγμγΰγελ-(ξ-κ(γλγ ολγλγκ(κ(κ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολ-(ξ
-κ( ολεκελ-(ξγλγEnglish translation by Evie Cooper, 2026/10/09. The original Japanese text is copy-ολ-(ξrighted by Aka Akasaka and may be found on theολγλγ-κ(
Weeklyολ-κ(Youngολ-κ(Jumpολγλγ website.ολ-(ξ-Document formatted usingολ IBM BookMaster and LEXX on z/VM. A PDF
ολcopy of thisολ-(ξvolume may be downloaded at:ολ--(ξγλγ--http://evievm.pubvm.org/wec/45510.pdfολεκελ-(ξγλγFirst edition, 2026/10/09ολ-
(ξγλγNote:ολκ( ολγλγFor translation errors, please send email toολγλγκ(--wec@evievm.pubvm.orgολγλγ!ολεκκλλ&
&/ΕΑΡΡΡ
&/ΕΑγ?>ΘΛθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>ηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐθΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
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ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>
αΰγδ- κΰγ&λδ&-αΰγδ-δ&&&αΰγδ-&&θΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>αγ-αΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγ-αγ-γγμγΰγγαγ-γγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐ
ηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔ
θΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγελ(ξγλγ ολγλγκ(κ(κ(κ((ξ ολ(ξ ολεκελ-<ο-(ξ--κ<λθ
-(ξγλγ ολκ(κ(Prefaceολεκελ(ξγ-λγ]45510΄ is a story that wasολ posted on Young Jump back in 2023, and it tells theολ(ξ-
story of a former idol in a band called B-Komachi studying the privateολ life of oneολ(ξof her bandmates, whose name is Ai. In the closed context of the story, her lastολ-(ξ
name (and the name of the speaker) is not revealed, nor what happens to her.ολ-(ξThe Japanese ]idolολ industry΄ as it is known is ολγλγveryολγ-λγ ολ
hard on young girls and is oftenολ--(ξcited (quite correctly) as exploitative; girls areολ forced to play a fake persona and areολ(ξcriticized by their ολ
managers andολ- fans should they let slip too many ]real facts΄ολ-(ξ-about their life. Once idols ]age out΄ of being whoολ- they once were, many seek toολ-(ξ
expunge their past from the internet.ολκ(This is one such story.ολ-(ξThis story would later be the basis for a manga series namedολγλγ---κ(Oshiολ---
κ(noολ--κ(Koολγ-λγ,ολ-κ(whichολ-(ξ-would later evolve into an anime of the same name; the opening for thatολ- ολ
-animeολ-(ξshow was produced by a duo named YOASOBI and is aptly named ολγλγIdol.ολ-(ξγ-λγThis story is the first incarnation of the Oshi no Ko ολ
narrative saga.ολ<ο---(ξ-κ<λθ-(ξToολ me,ολ your translator, this story is of particular narrative impact as it mirrors partsολ-(ξ
of my own experience. I adapted this story and combined it with theολ- narrative of aολ-(ξvideogame when I produced a Commander Keen fanfiction.ολ(ξI hope you
ολ find this story as impactful as I did.ολεκελ(ξγλγ ολκ( ολγλγ----κ(κ((ξκ(γλγPrefaceολγλγ iiiολεκκλλ&
&/ΕΑΡΞ
&/ΕΑγ?>ΘΛθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
&/ΕΑβ?Ν>ΐΡ>Εβ?Μ-
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ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>
αΰγδ- κΰγ&λδ&-αΰγδ-δ&&&αΰγδ-&&θΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>αγ-αΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγ-γγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγελ-(ξ-κ(γλγ ολγλγκ(κ(κ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολ-(ξ-κ( ολεκελ-(ξ
γλγiv ολγλγ45510ολκ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολεκκλλ&
&/ΕΑ
&/ΕΑγ?>ΘΛθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>ηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐθΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
&/ΕΑβ?Ν>ΐΡ>Εβ?Μ-
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αΰγδ- κΰγ&λδ&-αΰγδ-δ&&&αΰγδ-&&θΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>αγ-αΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγ-αγ-γγμγΰγγαγ-γγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐ
ηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔ
θΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγγαγγγμγΰγελ(ξγλγ ολγλγκ(κ(κ(κ((ξ ολ(ξ ολεκελ-<ο-
(ξ--κ<λθ-(ξγλγκ(κ(κ(The Story of Aiολεκελ(ξγλγ]Idols are objects of worship, you know? They sparkle through the magic of lies...ολ(ξ
lies are the most exquisite form of love, no?΄ολεκελ<ο-(ξ-κ<λθ-(ξγλγ ολκ(κ(1ολεκελ-(ξγ-λγIn the grand database
ολthat is the internet, a wide variety of texts,ολ- images, videos,ολ(ξand whatnot can be foundολ from the last 20 or 30 so years; they all remain today asολ
-(ξan archive of the past.ολ-(ξHowever, if a server stops working, a site's hosting getsολ terminated, or someoneολ(ξchooses to delete their account,
ολ it is not uncommon for things to disappear fromολ--(ξthis digital world forever.ολ---(ξWhat is too late will never come back.ολ--(ξI understand ολ
that there are some things that cannot be retrieved once they are gone.ολ----(ξ]Ah...΄ολ-(ξ]I don't remember,΄ the voice leaks out.ολ Do people often raise their
ολ voices whenολ--(ξthey encounter evil spirits? Usually, those feelings move slowly,ολ and often one'sολ(ξheart flutters for just a moment...ολ-
(ξWhat they met was a demon,ολ a legendary idol who left the entertainment industryολ-(ξ16 years ago. Some fans kept an archive of herολ live streams, all kept against
ολtheολ(ξ-rules; she had meant forολ-- it to be scrubbed from existence, but sometimes even theολ--(ξgrandest attempts ofολγλγκ(
damnatioολκ(memoriaeολγ-λγ fail.ολ(ξ]Wow, I miss you. You know, us fans kept you in our hearts for decades, right?΄ολ-(ξHere, take a look at
ολthe summary section of theολ- original video. The date of theολ-(ξvideo was right in the middleολ of B-Komachi's peak of popularity; it appeared to beολ(ξ
a copy of a livestream from around the time when Ai returned from her hiatus, allολ(ξto great fanfare and fan love.ολ(ξ-While livestreaming idols is prettyολ-
commonplace today, it wasn't so common backολ(ξ-then; the initiative that kicked itολ- all off was something that the legendary Saito hadολ-(ξ-come up as an idea on a whim a
ολ-few years and carriedολ- out a few times. Once heολ(ξdid that, the floodgates opened...ολ(ξ]I,΄ too, recall having ran a few livestreamsολ
of myself eons ago. I don't... reallyολ(ξremember what we talked about. If an archiveολγλγ---κ(didολγ-λγ exist, I could just checkολ it, butολ
(ξ-all of that data is likely gone --ολ- the streaming service I aired on was slow to adaptολεκελ(ξγλγ ολκ( ολγλγ----κ(κ((ξκ(γ
λγThe Story of Aiολγλγκ(1ολεκκλλ&
&/ΕΑ
&/ΕΑγ?>ΘΛθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>ηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
&/ΕΑβ?Ν>ΐΡ>Εβ?Μ-
λξ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>
αΰγδ- κΰγ&λδ&-αΰγδ-δ&&&αΰγδ-&&θΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>αγ-αΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγ-αγ-γγμγΰγγαγ-γγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐ
ηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγελ-(ξ-κ(γλγ ολγλγκ(κ(κ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολ-(ξ-κ( ολεκελ-
(ξγ-λγto the widespreadολ adoption of smartphones; everyone went to other services andολ--(ξeventually they put themselves on ice of a lack of fresh faces...ολκ(
even if you couldολ-(ξsomehow log into the site, you probably wouldn't be ableολ to find the data. In otherολ-(ξwords, this video was something that the fans of the
ολ time saved.ολ--(ξI slowly moved theολ mouse to the center of the screen and hesitated for a moment. Iολ-(ξfelt like playing this video would bring back ολ
those feelings I felt so long ago...ολεκελ<ο---(ξ-κ<λθ--(ξγλγ ολκ(κ(2ολεκελ--(ξγ-λγI absolutely hated ]Ai.΄ολ
-(ξ-For me, at least, the activities with B-Komachi were by no means justολ- mere fun. Ofολ-(ξcourse, after entering the entertainment industry myself, I met many celebrities and
ολ---(ξhad dinner with all manner of people that I admired; it was funολ appearing on TVολ--(ξ-and attracting attention -- Iολ- was treated like a celebrity ολ
-wherever I went because Iολ---(ξ-was with them. However, with that beingολ said, those parts that I did enjoy wereολ---(ξthoseολ privateολ
moments with whoever famous person I was with; I'm not really soολ--(ξsure I enjoyed the public-facing activities of the B-Komachi group myself.ολ--(ξ-Day in and day out, I was
ολ-swamped with rehearsalsολ- and lessons; I travelled all overολ--(ξ-the country of Japan for various events and live shows,ολ- yet I had no time forολ--(ξ-
sightseeing; I missed out on things like schoolολ- trips and all sorts of important cul-ολ--(ξtural festivals we have every year.ολ---(ξAbove all... above all else, the
ολ mere presenceολ of Ai, the person behind this hereολ-(ξvideo, cast a shadow over all ofολ my activities. Most of the popularity of theολ-(ξ-
B-Komachi group's popularity was sustained byολ-- Ai herself: even during various liveολ--(ξperformances, Ai was fixed there in the center -- all of the other groupολ- membersολ
--(ξwere essentially like backup dancers meant to cast the spotlight on her. Manage-ολ--(ξment blatantly favored Ai, and every project revolved around her.ολ--(ξOf ολ
course, I understood it all.ολ--(ξWe, well, we wouldn't have made it big without Ai. Without her, theολ rest of thoseολ--(ξB-Komachi members would've just ολ
remained nothing moreολ than underground idolsολ--(ξand would've never achieved that level of spotlight on their own.ολ----(ξ-Even so, one's emotions often refuse
ολ-to accept that. Seeing her receiveολ so muchολ--(ξfavoritism... it's impossible to not feel hatred welling up. B-Komachiολ started out asολ-(ξ
a rag-tag group of middle-school-aged modelsολ pretending to be something big fromολ-(ξ-some small, struggling modelling agency. While groupsολ consisting of relativelyολ-
(ξyoung members wereολ- a big trend at the time, girls in their more formative yearsολ-(ξunderwent drastic changes in their appearance and demeanor. Inολ most ολ
cases, thoseολ-(ξyoung idols lost their sheen of pre-adulthood innocence and grew up to becomeολ--(ξ-]ordinary΄ women. I even hear that when evaluating the potential of a young ολ
-idol,ολεκελ-(ξγλγ2 ολγλγ45510ολκ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολεκκλλ&
&/ΕΑ-
&/ΕΑγ?>ΘΛθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
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ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>
αΰγδ- κΰγ&λδ&-αΰγδ-δ&&&αΰγδ-&&θΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>αγ-αΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγ-αγ-γγμγΰγγαγ-γγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγελ(ξγλγ ολγλγκ(κ(κ(κ((ξ ολ(ξ ολεκελ(ξγ-λγthe
ολ- appearanceολ of the parents is sometimes checked. ]What kind of face would theyολ-(ξgrow up to have?΄ Isn't that outrageous? What a twisted industry, upholding a cruelολ(ξ
story.ολ(ξ-It distills looksism toολ its absolute essence and is ruthlessly meritocratic... with noολ-(ξregard for the pains of the idols themselves.ολ
κ(It can be said that manyολ of theολ(ξmembers of this race, myself included, fell victim to that cruelty.ολ-(ξ-Back when I was working as a model for aολ
- fashion magazine aimed at middleολ(ξ-school girls, I was beautiful -- the kind of girlολ- that you could show off anywhereολ(ξwithout a shred of ολ
embarrassment. But, asολ I entered high school and eventuallyολ(ξadulthood, that round face -- my once mostολ charming feature -- gradually began toολ(ξ
work against me. They were supposed toολ be marketed for their youthful looks, but,ολ-(ξinstead, they transformed into someone stocky and unrefined. In manyολ ways, itολ
--(ξwas...ολκ(a... failure in personal development, almost.ολ--(ξI've heard such comments from other people, sometimes even fans, on several occa-ολ--(ξ
sions as well.ολ-(ξI envied Ai.ολ--(ξIt seemed to me that she hadn't changed at all from startολ to finish as she grew up.ολ-(ξShe had
ολa mature-looking face fromολ the very beginning, but a touch of childlikeολ--(ξinnocence that remained with her to the end.ολ(ξI was jealous, to say the
ολleast.ολ(ξIt wasn't just meολ -- I'm sure every member of B-Komachi felt the same way! Onολ-(ξthe surface, they all tried to get along... but,ολ
those feelings of jealousy must'veολ---(ξ-seeped through -- and, I think that Ai understood that and was awareολ of it, too.ολ(ξ-There was clearly a barrier between
ολ-me and the otherολ- members. We workedολ(ξtogether for years, butολ- I don't think that we ever spoke the truth or revealed ourολ(ξtrue
ολfeelings to one another.ολ-(ξ-Ai was always so non-chalant about it all andολ- never revealed her true feelings. Weολ(ξwent out a few times for a meal at
ολthe beginning of our beingολ together, but weολ(ξdidn't really socialize outsideολ- of that.ολκ(-Eventually, frustrations started to boil
ολ-over,ολ(ξand some members evenολ began to harass Ai. Stealing her makeup, spreading allολ-(ξsorts of outrageous rumors -- true or false -- about Ai among
ολthe other members...ολ-(ξThat employee, and that's what we allολ were, was fired immediately. President Saitoολ(ξ-acted swiftly and ruthlessly;ολ
immediately after the matter came to light, a statementολ(ξ-was issued and the contract was immediatelyολ terminated. I wasn't even allowed toολ-(ξholdολ
aολ graduation concert for her; everyone resigned themselves to the president'sολ(ξblatantολ favoritismολ for Ai. For me, though, there was no other choice
ολ but to continueολ(ξperforming as a ]backup dancer΄ for Ai as part of B-Komachi.ολεκελ(ξγλγ ολκ( ολγλγ----κ(κ((ξκ(γλγ
The Story of Aiολγλγκ(3ολεκκλλ&
&/ΕΑ
&/ΕΑγ?>ΘΛθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>ηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐθΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
&/ΕΑβ?Ν>ΐΡ>Εβ?Μ-
λξ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>
αΰγδ- κΰγ&λδ&-αΰγδ-δ&&&αΰγδ-&&θΡ_ΑΛκ?_/>αγ-αΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγ-αγ-γγμγΰγγαγ-γγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐ
θΡ_ΑΛβ?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘθΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔ
θΡ_ΑΛρΘ/%ΡΔαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
ρ>Δ%ΝΐΑγ?>ΘηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐ
ηΑ%ΞΑΘΡΔ/β?%ΐαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγελ-(ξ-κ(γλγ ολγλγκ(κ(κ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολ-(ξ-κ( ολεκελ-
(ξγ-λγ-]Fuckολ- itολ- all.΄ That was the thought with which I continued my activity here. Iολ--(ξdidn't anchor my heart toολ anything, I just
ολheld my breath and pressed the playολ-(ξbutton.ολεκελ<ο-(ξ-κ<λθ-(ξγλγ ολκ(κ(3ολεκελ-(ξγ-λγ
]Uh, can you hear me?΄ολ-(ξIt was Ai's voice.ολ---(ξAi's voice. Not other description of it is needed.ολ-(ξIt felt like a hurricane was blowing ολ
through my stomach; this was the thingολ thatολ-(ξwas once the one-and-only to me.ολ---(ξ]Is my microphone volume too low? I see, okay, uhh, everyoneολ
turn up yourολ--(ξvolume!΄ολ--(ξThe same old droll remark, she said that every timeολ and her microphone pre-ampολ---(ξwas miscalibrated
ολevery time she streamed; it was a ploy toολ get everyone's atten-ολ---(ξtion.ολ Really,ολ those idols had absolutely no qualms about inconveniencing
ολothers;ολ--(ξ-there's a certain boldness to it,ολ as if to say that unconvincing others is, itself, a vitalολ--(ξ-form of communication. That's right, that's
ολ-what Ai was like. The worldολ- at herολ-(ξfingertips, her fans at her every beck and call.ολ-(ξAi looked soολ beautiful on the screen. I
ολhad wondered in the back of my mind if theολ-(ξpassage of more than aολ- decade, and the memories associated with it, had somehowολ-(ξidealized the image of
ολ her in my head to make her more beautiful thanολ she was inολ--(ξreality; this turned outολ to be false, of course. To anyone that saw her, Ai wasολγλγ
κ(unde-ολ---(ξ-niablyολγ-λγ- beautiful. I was, back then,ολ- hyper-aware that Ai (or so I wanted to believe)ολ-(ξwas being driven by the ολ
preconceptions of youth that her fans seemed to hold.ολ--(ξ]Whatολ shouldολ I talk about? I haven't really prepared anything...ολ-κ(the boss
ολjust toldολ-(ξmeολ toολ go have a casual chat. But, what exactly am I supposed to do for a casualολ-(ξchat? Oh, right! Comments! Should
ολI just read everyone's comments?΄ολ-(ξ-The comment section of theολ livestream was not preserved in the uploaded video; Iολ-(ξhad no idea what sort of ολ
comments were reaching Ai.ολ-(ξThe sound of her voice fell out of the speakers like snow falling from the sky.ολ-(ξκ(]Kyo nani tabeta? Nani mo tabe tenai. Fuko no burado?
ολYuni-Roda yo!ολ--(ξκ(Sukinahon toka aru? Naisho. Asobiniikuara doko? Himitsu!΄ ολ-(ξ-]What did I eat today?ολ- Nothing. The brand of my clothes? Uniqlo.
ολκ(-What's myολ--(ξfavorite book? That's a secret! Where do I go to hang out?ολκ(That's a secret too!΄ολεκελ-(ξγλγ4 ολγλγ45510
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Ai's answers were, occasionally, laced with secrets. I don't reallyολ- understand (andολ-(ξ-didn't understand then) where the line was drawn between what could be answeredολ(ξ
and what was considered confidential; neither did she,ολ apparently. I mean, really,ολ(ξyou ought to just tell them what kind of books you like. I recall that she hadολ-(ξ
always been so secretive. No matterολ what she asked, she would hastily dodge theολ-(ξquestion; to a fan,ολ this might come across as mysterious (and a mystery to beολ(ξ
solved, at that).ολ(ξ]What foods do you dislike?΄ολ(ξ-Ai was at a loss for anολ- answer. ]Hmm...΄ she said, casting his gaze upward; sheολ(ξ
continued speaking without looking back at the camera.ολ(ξ]Nothing in particular, though I'm really not a fan of plain white rice.΄ολ-(ξ]Yeah, right,΄ I thought toολ
myself. After all, it was Ai who cleaned the tray of herολ-(ξon-location bento boxes moreολ neatly than anyone else... she even took home anyολ-(ξ-leftovers; I've
ολ-seenολ her clean her plate of plain white race time and time again!ολ-(ξ-Those idols probably think that giving some kind of eccentric answer is the way toολ-(ξ-
go -- it was true to Ai's character, too. ]It'sολ- not that I dislike the taste, it's just...ολ---(ξwell, you know... you know how white rice isολ so soft? Sometimes there's grit
ολ orολ-(ξsand in it? That crunchy texture? I can't stand that!΄ολ--(ξWell, normally, sand doesn't get in your rice. However, what wasολ being said didολ
(ξ-have a touch of reality to it;ολ- the idea that one might suddenly encounter a foreignολ-(ξobject is enough to strike fear into any human... one might even sayολ
it's part ofολ-(ξhuman instinct to have such a fear.ολ(ξ]You know, I worry about what I'd do if thereολ were glass or something mixed inολ-(ξ
with the white rice.ολ- It must hurt, right? So, it's not whether or not I like it, it's moreολ(ξ-really like... I'm scared?ολ-κ(-Yeah. White rice scares me,ολ
so I don't really like it. Well,ολ-(ξI'll eat it if it's served to me, but I'll be bracing myself a little.΄ολ(ξAi wore a calm, faint smile as the light shined out of the computer monitor.
ολIfολ-(ξanything, Ai was always smiling --ολ this was just business as usual. To me, Ai'sολ-(ξsmile always seemed like a blank expression.ολκ(
Always.ολ(ξ]Do you have any desire to get married?΄ολ(ξ]No, I don't.΄ολ-(ξThis time, theολ answer was immediate and stern. She ολ
looked off from the camera forολ(ξa moment, and continued.ολ(ξ-]I don't know, though. I just can'tολ- picture myself getting married at all. Everyoneολ
(ξsays so readily and easily that they'dολ like to marry me, but I wonder how muchολ(ξthey really mean it. Iολ can sorta understand wanting to be close to ολ
someone youολεκελ(ξγλγ ολκ( ολγλγ----κ(κ((ξκ(γλγThe Story of Aiολγλγκ(5ολεκκλλ&
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(ξγ-λγreally like, but what makes youολ want to get married? I wonder if it's a way ofολ--(ξ-showing affection? Like, expressing a desireολ- to want to be together ολ
-forever?ολ-(ξMaybe? Hmm, I see.ολκ(I think I might kinda get it now.΄ολ-(ξI felt like there was a slight opening in Ai's expression, the realολ
her shining throughολ--(ξin that moment. It was a question born out of pure curiosity, as if the thought inολ-(ξsomeone's head wanted to be fine-tuned, and so they submitted the ολ
questionολ for herολ--(ξto see.ολ-(ξ-]But I find myself wanting to be together all the time with someoneολ- sometimes; Iολ-(ξ
think I'm starting to understand that desire a little, but only recently though.΄ολ-(ξThat sudden hint madeολ my blood run cold. Even I retained a shred of the instinct ofολ-(ξ
an idol: a sensitive smell tuned to the smell of something burning.ολ--(ξ]My cousin's kid is just so adorable,ολ I find myself wanting to stand by their side allολ--(ξ
the time!΄ολ--(ξThe comments section atολ the time must've been abuzz with relief. Ai had never hadολ---(ξany romantic relationships with the opposite sex come to ολ
light. None of us had anyολ----(ξ-way of knowing about Ai's private life, either; this hereολ was an archive of the past,ολ---(ξso it's not like it was happening in
ολ real-time andολ was applicable to her in theολ--(ξpresent day...ολκ(she'd surely have changed since then. Even knowing that thisολ would
ολ---(ξbe the only answer I would ever get, my spine chilled more.ολ-(ξ]My type of guy? That's a secret! Iολ mean, I could tell you, but wouldn't it be aολ--(ξ
bummer if you didn't fit the description? Hmm... I guess nevermind, then.΄ολ--(ξ-It seems that the stream that dayολ centered on talk about love and romance. Ai's loveολ----(ξ-
life. I have toολ be honest, I was a little interested in it too, back then. I grabbed theολ-(ξvolume knob of the headphone amplifier and turned it up a bit.ολ--(ξ-]I
ολ- think I'd prefer someone who doesn't get angry at me tooολ much.ολκ(I'm alwaysολ-(ξmessing something up, after all! I feel like someone thatολ
got hung up on the littleολ--(ξdetailsολ wouldολ be totally exhausted dealing with me. It wouldn't be fair to them,ολ-(ξthough, so I'd rather be
ολwith someone who isn't like that at all.΄ολ-(ξI remembered the blunder Ai made. It'sολ not so much that she was missing someολ--(ξ-kind of ]crucial piece΄ in
ολ- her social life, but rather that she flat-out lacked theολ-(ξgeneral social awareness neededολ to navigate the world. Indeed, quite a few idolsολ-(ξhave
ολsocial developmental disorders, and Ai was a prime example of this. Ai, forολ-(ξinstance, doesn't call anyone by their name; if I called her out for this, I myselfολ-(ξwould
ολ getολ accused of making some kind of mistake. I recall that I was frequentlyολ--(ξcorrected for mispronouncing President Saito's name.ολ-κ(Theολ
members jokingly saidολ--(ξthat Ai might not be able to distinguishολ between two similar people! In the worldολ-(ξas Ai sees it, all humans are featureless: mere ]
ολPerson A΄ or ]Personολ B΄ archetypesολεκελ-(ξγλγ6 ολγλγ45510ολκ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολεκκλλ&
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falling into cleanολ categories, and she has no recognition of them as distinct individ-ολ-(ξuals. I, sometimes, tend to view myself as nothingολ more than a playable characterολ
(ξin a video game, a persona that I don to get by in the world; I oftenολ think about myολ(ξown life as if it were happening toολ- someone else. At least, ολ
-that's the sort of thingολ-(ξthatολ theολ gaming fans amongst the members of our group were talking about whilstολ-(ξthey played those RPG
ολgames on their handheld game consoles. The talkολ of that,ολ(ξsurprisingly, left quite an impression on me.ολ I remember thinking that the thoughtsολ(ξ
like that which swirled 'round and around in my head might actually be true...ολ(ξ]The feeling of liking someone is probably built on a foundation of trust, if I hadολ-(ξto ολ
guess. What was it called? Reciprocity? You know, like, how when you likeολ-(ξsomeone, they like you back? I'm way too much ofολ a coward, though, so I guess Iολ--(ξ-
find it kinda hard to really believeολ- in the concept of love. I've never truly fallen inολ(ξlove with anyone, so I wouldn't know what it felt like.΄ολ-(ξPeople
ολcan only judge othersολ based on their own common sense. If you don't knowολ--(ξthe feeling of what itολ feels like to like someone, you can't believe in the concept
ολofολ-(ξ-]liking΄ at all when someone else brings it up. This is something Iολ- realized afterολ-(ξbecoming an adult. It's like the peopleολ
who cheat on their partners are the onesολ--(ξwho, paradoxically, are the ones most likely to suspect their partner of cheating.ολ--(ξ-]It feels strange. I'm... not really good at talking about
ολ-myself, and I'd hate to sayολ-(ξsomething weird and have people end up hating me.ολκ(But, it's not that I actuallyολ(ξdislike talking about ολ
myself, even if it might seemολ- like some kind of contradiction!ολ-(ξI want y'all to know and accept everything about me, includingολ the ugly andολ(ξ
unpleasant parts, and tell me that it's okay...΄ολ--(ξI felt like I was hearing somethingολ close to Ai's true feelings for the first time inολ(ξ-my entire life. It
ολ-was almost likeολ- a diary of sorts; Ai appeared to be conversingολ-(ξwith the comments, but ultimately, it seemed as though she was talking to herselfολ(ξ
and trying to understand her own thoughts.ολ I, too, have a recollection of that. Whenολ(ξreading comments from your livestream viewers andολ- talking about them, it tends toολ
(ξ-turn into a dialogue with oneself. For example,ολ- when trying to compensate for theολ(ξlimited information crammed into the brief sentenceολ that is a ολ
comment, one inevi-ολ-(ξtably ends up inserting oneself into it.ολ-κ(Overwhelmed by theολ constant stream ofολ-(ξcomments, I often
ολfound the true conversation to land far-removed from my trueολ(ξ-feelings, yet I just movedολ-- onto the next topic anyways when I streamed. After all,ολ(ξ
streaming is about catering to your audience, so it's prettyολ common to say thingsολ(ξthat you don't actually mean. And yet, there areολ inevitably moments when you doολ
(ξnot want to tell a lie.ολ(ξ]You know, the truth is...΄ολεκελ(ξγλγ ολκ( ολγλγ----κ(κ((ξκ(γλγThe Story
ολ of Aiολγλγκ(7ολεκκλλ&
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β??,(/ΛΘΑΚε?ΘΗΡΔρΘ/%ΡΔαγαΰγδ-α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγελ-(ξ-κ(γλγ ολγλγκ(κ(κ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολ-(ξ-κ( ολεκ
ελ<ο-(ξ-κ<λθ-(ξγλγ ολκ(κ(4ολεκελ-(ξγ-λγTheολ recordingολ of the stream ended abruptly;
ολthe video's title wasολγλγκ(-1ολγ-λγ, and it appearedολ-(ξto be split out from another file that contained moreολ (or perhaps there
ολ was a subse-ολ-(ξquent recording that was made elsewhere). I wentολ to the uploader's page to look forολ---(ξmore recordings, but there were none toολ
be seen. Was it deleted, or was it justολ--(ξnever posted in the first place? Enveloped in a lingering sense of unfulfillment,ολ Iολ--(ξclicked on an index ολ
page. Hoping to findολ some trace of Ai, I follow a trail of pagesολ-(ξrelated to B-Komachi.ολ I'd already seen nearly all of the B-Komachi-related videosολ-
(ξon that site, and all of them had Ai wearing her ]TV mask.΄ολ-(ξCome to think of it...ολ-(ξComeολ- toολ think of it, when B-Komachi first
ολ formed, back when everyone still gotολ---(ξalong,ολ thereολ was talk of creating a joint blog; we had the idea when we were allολ--(ξ-
sitting at a fast-food restaurant in front of aολ- train station... four kids, innocent andολ---(ξcarefree... dreamed of a bright future.ολ---(ξIn the end, it was decided thatολ
- only the official account created by managementολ---(ξwould be operated, but that account was abandoned. If I recallολ- correctly, Ai hadολ---(ξalso written some
ολdiary entries on that account a few times, and sheολ did so out-of-ολ--(ξcharacter.ολ--(ξI pondered what the website that held the blog's addressολ
was, and it came to myολ-(ξmind. I proceeded to the login screen for the blog, theολ one that would allow me toολ-(ξsee everything.ολ-(ξ--
The email address Iολ-- registered the account with was supposed to be my secondaryολ--(ξemail address. I didn't know what theολ password was... I knew it was numbers, and Iολ--
(ξthink I knew them, but was it the 1 that came first, orολ the 55? After trying a fewολ--(ξcombinations, I arrived at the correct password.ολ--(ξγλγ45510
ολ-(ξγ-λγ-Takamine, Nino, Ai, Watanabe. The numbers corresponding to the initialολ letters ofολ-(ξthe founding membersολ when typed using a phone ολ
flick-input-style Japanese kanaολ--(ξkeyboard.ολ--(ξ-There are 7 articles. The total number of visits to the site is 328.ολκ(-Theολ- latest
ολ-pageολ--(ξcontained a notice about a relocation of the website to a different site.ολ This is suchολ-(ξan incredibly rare blog thatολ ολ
even long-time fans might not know about it. Theολ---(ξchoice of blog service was poor, too; there's a cute avatar displayedολ next to theολ-(ξblog, giving it
ολthe distinct look of something created by an elementaryολ- or middleολ-(ξ-school student. Reading through it gave me a headache, like lookingολ back on aολ-(ξ
shameful past.ολεκελ-(ξγλγ8 ολγλγ45510ολκ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολεκκλλ&
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ολ content of the articles was terrible,ολ too. One of them was written like a self-ολ-(ξintroduction page (probably writtenολ without checking with the idol ολ
administrationολ(ξteam) and it had chatter about favorite celebrities; it was writtenολ with an abundanceολ(ξof emoji. This is the page of a shitty brat who ολ
doesn't have a shred ofολ-(ξprofessionalism. I let out a startled gasp as I jumped to the editing page, eager toολ-(ξdelete the article.ολ I clicked into the
ολadministrative editing page, but I found aολ(ξprivate page there. I figured out who posted it from the tags; it's Ai.ολ(ξI opened the preview screen, and read the text Ai
ολwrote.ολ(ξ]Takamine, Nino-chan, and Watanabe΄ολ(ξThe page brings back memories, doesn'tολ- it? I didn't think it was still around, eitherολ(ξ
-We really used to get along so well back inολ- the beginning... things sure are tenseολ-(ξwith B-Komachi right now, aren't they? Well, it's my fault, though... Honestly, Iολ-(ξ
feel really bad about it, and I kinda feel responsible. I'm serious!ολ-(ξIt might be hard to ask you to trust me, but...ολ--(ξMy desire to get along with everyone else in that
ολgroup has never changed.ολ- Iολ---(ξhaven't been able to say itολ until now, but this is how I truly feel. Y'all'l probably allολ--(ξ-hate
ολ-me, but... I don't hate you. If I could, for a moment,ολ- I would like to say thatολ-(ξI'd like to do things the wayολ I did back then. Sure, go ahead, make fun of me
ολallολ--(ξyou want, it's fine to get properly angry at hearing that. I mean, B-Komachi isολ(ξkinda a joke nowadays. Don't hold back, say what's on your mind.ολ-(ξ
Look, if you found this blogολ and visited it because you missed the way we used toολ-(ξbe, please let me know if we ever cross paths. Hey, Ai, call meολ a damn fool.
ολI'llολ(ξsay ]okay, I'm sorry for being a fool.΄ολ(ξ-I want to make up. There are things I've been meaning to tellολ everyone for theολ(ξ
longest time. I want to properly tell everyone.ολ(ξI didn't read to the end, I just went back a page, back to theολ editor. I clicked on theολ-(ξ-Delete ολ
-button to delete the page that Ai wrote forever. May nobody ever read thisολ(ξtext again.ολ(ξThis isn't right.ολ-(ξThis isn't Ai.ολ
(ξAi was someone who leaned on nobody; she was unconstrained, proudlyολ solitary,ολ--(ξ-and strong... she never harbored regret, and she is invincible... theολ-- absolute
ολ(ξstrongest. She was utterly one of a kind. Ai wouldn't write something thatολ soundsολ(ξlike she was clinging to ]friends΄ like those... it ain't Ai. It ain't who Ai is.ολ
(ξMy love isn't like that.ολεκελ(ξγλγ ολκ( ολγλγ----κ(κ((ξκ(γλγThe Story of Aiολγλγκ(9ολεκ
κλλ&
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(ξγ-λγThere is no need for me to know which one is the real Ai. I lookedολ off my monitorολ--(ξfor a moment,ολ and I pondered what the rest of that video was like if
ολit had beenολ-(ξsaved by a fan. I definitely watchedολ that stream at least once, when it aired live.ολ-(ξAfter all... I watched every single one of Ai's
ολstreams.ολ--(ξCome to think of it, there was one timeολ when Ai let her guard down and voiced herολ-(ξ-insecurities during a livestream.ολκ(-
That's right, the episodeολ- about the white rice andολ--(ξthe glass. That tied intoολ the story about Ai's mother. At some point, Ai's motherολ-(ξ
threw a glass; whenολ- the glass inevitably broke, shards of the glass ended up in theολ-(ξwhite rice. From that moment on, Ai let wordsολ of weakness slip out like nobodyολ--
(ξhad ever seen before.ολ I wonder if the person who posted that video was just likeολ--(ξme, someone who maybe didn'tολ want to acknowledge that side of Ai... so, the
ολ---(ξvideo-saver cut the video off to prevent the reality ofολ Ai's hurting soul from beingολ-(ξremembered. After all, that person likelyολ wanted to protect
ολ the idol within us. Asολ---(ξsuch, it was erased from the great database that is the internet.ολ---(ξForever, so that theολ past could never be rewound, and
ολit would never be remem-ολ--(ξbered.ολ Afterολ a few minutes, I went to the administrative page of the blog andολ--(ξclicked the Delete
ολbutton. That voice... Ai's voice inολ that video... that might've beenολ---(ξa tinge of theολ only ]SOS΄ she ever sent out. Nobody would ever see it again, orολ-
--(ξever hear softly exclaim the pain she was in.ολ--(ξMy face reflected in the window glass next to my PC.ολ-(ξIt was the face of an unquestionable devotee.ολ--
(ξIt was the face of someone who revered Ai more than anyone else.ολεκελ-(ξγλγ10 ολγλγ45510ολκ(κ(-(ξ-κ( ολεκκλλ&
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α+δ|ΰαγαγγγμγΰγ
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αΰγδλί( κΰγ&λδ&-αΰγδλί(δ&&&αΰγδλί(ΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&>?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&->?ΘΐΑΓ&θΰ&ΑΜΔ%/_&θΰ&Ν>ΡΞΑΚΛ/%&θΰ&>Ν_ΒΑΚΛΡΕ>&θ
ΰ&ΑΜΡΛΘΑ>ΘΡ/%&θΰ&ψΑΚΔΑ>Θ&θΰ&/_ψΑΚΛ/>ΐ&θΰ&ΛΝΔΗΘΗ/Θ&θΰ&-ψ/ΚΑ>%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&ψ/ΚΑ>ΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&/ΛΘΑΚΡΛ,_/ΘΗ&θΰ&ψ%ΝΛ&θΰ&Δ?__/&θΰ&_Ρ>ΝΛ&θΰ&ψΑΚΡ?ΐ&θΰ&Λ%/ΛΗ&θΰ&:ΑΚ?&θΰ&?>Α&θΰ&
-ΘΟ?&θΰ&ΘΗΚΑΑ&θΰ&Γ?ΝΚ&θΰ&ΓΡΞΑ&θΰ&ΛΡΜ&θΰ&ΛΑΞΑ>&θΰ&ΑΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&>Ρ>Α&θΰ&Δ?%?>&θΰ&ΛΑ_ΡΔ?%?>&θΰ&-%ΑΛΛ&θΰ&ΑΙΝ/%&θΰ&ΕΚΑ/ΘΑΚ&θΰ&ΙΝΑΛΘΡ?>&θΰ&Δ?>ΕΚΝΑ>Θ&θΰ& %ψΗ/
&θΰ&βΑΘ/&θΰ&δΗΡ&θΰ&ΰΑ%Θ/&θΰ&αψΛΡ%?>&θΰ&-&ΗΡ&θΰ&ε/__/&θΰ&αΘ/&θΰ&ρ?Θ/&θΰ&ΘΗΑΘ/&θΰ&./ψψ/&θΰ&</_Βΐ/&θΰ&(Ν&θΰ&+Ν&θΰ&|_ΡΔΚ?>&θΰ&-&Ρ&θΰ&
θΗΑΘ/&θΰ&κΗ?&θΰ&λΡΕ_/&θΰ&θ/Ν&θΰ&νψΛΡ%?>&θΰ&ΛΡΕ_/&θΰ&|_ΑΕ/&θΰ&μΡ&θΰ&&ΛΡ&θΰ&-!ΑΘ/&θΰ&ΒΚ/Δ,ΑΘ%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&ΘΗΑΚΑΓ?ΚΑ&θΰ&ΒΚ/Δ,ΑΘΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&ψΑΚψΑ>ΐΡΔΝ%/Κ&θΰ&
Ν>ΐΑΚΛΔ?ΚΑ&θΰ&Κ/ΐΡΔ/%ΑΜ&θΰ&-/%ψΗ/&θΰ&-ΒΑΘ/&θΰ&-ΔΗΡ&θΰ&--ΐΑ%Θ/&θΰ&-ΑψΛΡ%?>&θΰ&-ψΗΡ&θΰ&-Ε/__/&θΰ&-ΑΘ/&θΰ&-Ρ?Θ/&θΰ&-ψΗΡ&θΰ&,/ψψ/&θΰ&%/_Βΐ/&θΰ&_Ν&θΰ&
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ΒΚ/ΔΑΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&ΛΡ_Ρ%/Κ&θΰ&νψΛΡ%?>&θΰ&_Ρ>ΝΘΑ&θΰ&%ΑΛΛΑΙΝ/%&θΰ&-ΓΚ/ΔΘΡ?>&θΰ&Ρ>ΓΡ>ΡΘ`&θΰ&Γ%?ΚΡ>&θΰ&Δ%ΝΒ&θΰ&ΐΡ/_?>ΐ&θΰ&ΗΑ/ΚΘ&θΰ&Λψ/ΐΑ&θΰ&/ΚΚ?ΟΒ?ΘΗ&θΰ&
/ΚΚ?Ο%ΑΓΘ&θΰ&/ΚΚ?ΟΝψ&θΰ&-/ΚΚ?ΟΚΡΕΗΘ&θΰ&/ΚΚ?Οΐ?Ο>&θΰ&ΐΑΕΚΑΑ&θΰ&ψ%ΝΛ_Ρ>ΝΛ&θΰ&ΛΑΔ?>ΐ&θΰ&ΕΚΑ/ΘΑΚΑΙΝ/%&θΰ&_Ν%ΘΡψ%`&θΰ&ψΚ?ψ?ΚΘΡ?>/%&θΰ&ψ/ΚΘΡ/%ΐΡΓΓ&θΰ&ΒΝ%%ΑΘ&θΰ&-
ΐΡΞΡΐΑ&θΰ&>?ΘΑΙΝ/%&θΰ&ΑΙΝΡΞ/%Α>ΔΑ&θΰ&/ψψΚ?ΜΑΙΝ/%&θΰ&Α%%ΡψΛΡΛ&θΰ&/ΚΚ?ΟΞΑΚΘΑΜ&θΰ&/ΚΚ?ΟΗ?ΚΡ:ΑΜ&θΰ&Δ/ΚΚΡ/ΕΑΚΑΘΝΚ>&θΰ&/%ΑψΗ&θΰ&ρΓΚ/,ΘΝΚ&θΰ&-κΓΚ/,ΘΝΚ&θΰ&ΟΑΡΑΚΛΘΚ/ΛΛ&θΰ&
ΔΡΚΔ%Α_Ν%ΘΡψ%`&θΰ&ΔΡΚΔ%Αψ%ΝΛ&θΰ&Α_ψΘ`ΛΑΘ&θΰ&Ρ>ΘΑΚΛΑΔΘΡ?>&θΰ&Ν>Ρ?>&θΰ&ψΚ?ψΑΚΛΝψΑΚΛΑΘ&θΰ&ΚΑΓ%ΑΜΛΝψΑΚΛΑΘ&θΰ&>?ΘΛΝΒΛΑΘ&θΰ&-ψΚ?ψΑΚΛΝΒΛΑΘ&θΰ&ΚΑΓ%ΑΜΛΝΒΛΑΘ&θΰ&Α%Α_Α>Θ&θΰ&
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